Uninvited: Dealing with Social Exclusion as an Adult

Can I tell you a secret?

I'm an adult, but rejection still hurts, just as much as it did when I was a child.

Blogging has been quite an adventure. When I sat down at my computer over 13 years ago to start this little website, I had no idea what I was doing. I took advice from the late, great Carrie Fisher who said, 'Stay afraid, but do it anyway,' a sort of, 'fake it till you make it' kind of mentality. There have been ups and downs, of course, but so many amazing opportunities and experiences that I never could have imagined. I'm proud to say that I'm not faking it anymore. I worked hard to get where I am. But rejection still stings. It stings like a hornet!!

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Halloween Hits Different Now

Truth be told, I get a little depressed on Halloween. I know people usually experience depression during holidays like Christmas or Mother's Day, and those holidays can be really hard for many reasons, too. But for me, it's Halloween. As soon as I turned 50, Halloween just hit different. But it's actually been a slow build-up to Halloween depression over the years. Maybe you can relate.

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Ode to the Joes

Any mom will tell you that it’s not easy to make ‘mom friends.’ There are memes and jokes all over the internet about how hard it is for moms to accept one another and how difficult it is to make friends with other women at playgrounds and playdates. I can attest to this on so many levels; wondering why, as an adult, I often feel like I don't fit in, or why the cattiness of high school still exists among grown women (and I’m not pointing fingers, every woman out there knows that this is true). But I’m happy to say that I did make friends when my son first started kindergarten. But friendship comes in many forms, and sometimes friendship appears when you least expect it.

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Dear You, Love, Me : Why You Need to Write Yourself a Birthday Letter

My birthday just passed, and truth be told, I love my birthday month. Well, at least I used to. I'm one of those people who celebrate the whole month- I cash in on my retail freebies, meet with friends, have dinner with family. I'm all about celebrating. But as the years go by, birthdays hit different. Of course I'm happy to have made it another year around the sun, but my spark for celebration has started to fizzle. That's why I was intrigued when I changed my calendar this year (yes, I keep an old-school paper calendar on a corkboard, don't laugh), and an envelope fell out- a lime green envelope addressed in pen in my own handwriting: "Mama: Open any time in March." I didn't remember writing it, although I vaguely recalled pinning it to the corkboard where my calendar hangs. Read on and I'll tell you what the letter said, and why I think you should write yourself a birthday letter, too. 

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A Second Language is a Superpower

I thought I'd share this one again since the Bad Bunny half-time show made national headlines!

Knowing another language is a superpower. I'm not sure I understood this in middle school or high school when I sat in class with my peers trying to conjugate Spanish verbs and practice my Spanish vocabulary. But now that I'm a little older (and wiser) I think I understand the value of knowing a second language. I tell you, it's my hidden superpower!

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Me and You With Wings on Our Feet: Answers from The Great Beyond

-A Beyond Momma post in honor of a friend-

Once upon a time you wrote me a letter, back when people sent real words through the mail and addressed actual envelopes with stamps. I still have the letter in a box with my college memories.  "I think you should send every story you can to publishers," you wrote. "You're talented. It made me proud to read your work in Schmidtberger's class." It's hard to find others with an appreciation for writing and literature. You understood those things, like the other English majors in our small friend group in college. We thought we were pretty cool, didn't we? Sitting under the trees with Dr. Conlon, talking about Cervantes. I loved that you appreciated my weirdness. You once wrote down the lyrics to 'The Land of the Lost' TV show theme song, just because I asked you to. "Marshall, Will and Holly on a routine expedition..." I don't even think you questioned why.

Fast forward years later, we met up at a garden center, looked at flowers and talked about The Cloisters. I was grateful for your friendship. There weren't many like you- kind and funny and thoughtful, interested in growing vegetables or flowers, or whatever we were looking at together that day. 

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Twelve Years Without You: The Loss of My Dog

I remember the day I lost you so well. Actually, I remember The After- those dark, dark days and nights after you left this world- they felt like a hole had opened up and swallowed me. You might as well have cut my heart out. I remember thinking, how am I going to live the rest of my life without you? Forty, fifty years? Fifty. Years. Without. You. I couldn't breathe just thinking about it. Now here we are at twelve. I've made it twelve years without you. And I have thought about you every single day since you've been gone. 

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Nobody Reads Anymore: The Death of the Written Word and Other Lies

No one reads anymore. At least that's what they say. And as someone who makes her living from writing, this is disheartening news indeed. But you know what? I don't agree. Social media would like us to believe that the readers of the world have collectively taken their last breath and disappeared into the catacombs of an ancient library somewhere, but I don't think that's true at all. Maybe the pandemic has put a pause on our reading habits (not as many commuters to sit and read on a train or bus, not as many customers randomly hanging out at Starbucks, chilling with their Frappuccino and a good book - you get the idea). But I refuse to believe that no one reads anymore. It makes me cringe. What is this, Idiocracy? (have you seen this movie? Watch it, it's hilarious, yet oddly eye-opening). 

Time for a Change: Beyond Momma

The Jersey Momma is changing. Truth is, she's been changing for a long time now, but I just haven't acknowledged it much here 'on the blog,' as I've come to say. I started The Jersey Momma way back in 2013 (and you can read about that here), when I was a new mom with no friends (but I had my wonderful parents who went on tons of adventures with me). Back then I was working through so much, from leaving a career in teaching to grieving over personal losses. The Jersey Momma was new and exciting and fresh. 

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Dear Grandmas Everywhere...This One's for You

Dear Grandmas Everywhere,

I just wanted to say that I finally understand. Now that my little boy is growing into a teenager/man, I finally think I get where you are all coming from. Now I know why you cry when you see babies. I understand why you want to hold them and kiss them and smell their little baby heads. I understand why you sometimes wander up to stranger's babies and ask to touch their silky soft hair or coo at their pudgy cheeks. I finally understand...

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I'm With the (Marching) Band

To all of my high school marching band and color guard friends, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never attended a football game to see how magnificent you were. I'm sorry I didn't watch you compete or wave to you as you marched in the township parade. I'm sorry I didn't understand how absolutely essential you were to our high school; how you were truly the beating heart of our school spirit. My son recently joined his high school marching band and he taught me so much. When you become a parent you think about all of the things you will teach your child but you never fully grasp how much they will teach you.

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Hurt No Living Thing

It amazes me how little people know about the world around them. And I'm not talking politics or history- I mean the actual world, our earth. We have search engines at our fingertips, yet people walk around with little or no knowledge of what's right at their feet (or above their heads). They see a snake in their yard and they want to kill it, even though it's not dangerous and helps the environment. A crazy looking bug crawls across their car windshield and they smash it because "it's creepy." When I was a teacher, I could educate children about how important it is to care for all forms of life, but adults are harder to reach, I think. 

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Farewell to the Empire

"What did you do for fun when you were a teenager?" my son once asked me. "Like, what did kids do in the 80's and 90's?" And he stressed the word "do" as if we couldn't possibly have had fun lives, could we? I thought for a minute before answering him because how could I ever explain it in a way he would understand? Truthfully, we did nothing. And that was everything.

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Confessions of an 80's Hoarder - Vol. 1

Were you a child of the 1980's? If so then maybe you understand my love for the decade. Sometimes I can't remember why I walked into a room, but I can clearly remember my days of childhood from the late 1970's and early 80's. I have a special fondness for 80's toys, collectibles and memorabilia, and I've managed to hang onto many of my own belongings from that time period. I thought it would be fun to use this Momma Musings post to take a walk down memory lane. Want to see what I've hoarded away all of these years? I'll share with you as long as you don't laugh at what I've saved.

A Weekend Getaway is Good for the Soul: Reflections from Camp Travel Mom

There's nothing worse than sitting around waiting for something good to happen to you. For the past few months I've been in that kind of funk. You know that feeling when you're just uninspired and you need a change?  When I received an email from my friend Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom, asking if I'd like to attend her Camp Travel Mom event in San Diego, I thought, YES!!! Her last travel event, The Travel Mom's Western Weekend Getaway was life-changing for me. Once again I was in desperate need of change- a change of direction, a change of company, a change of scenery. I had never been to San Diego before, so I was excited to grab my blogging bestie, Kid Congeniality, and head out to the west coast. It would've been easy to pass up a travel opportunity. I could make a million excuses for myself- it's too far away, it's too expensive, it would be too hard to coordinate everything (from childcare to school work to airport pick-ups and drop-offs). But I was determined to get there, and I'm so glad I did. And with 100% certainty I can tell you that weekend getaways are necessary and imperative. Don't believe me? Read on to hear what I learned about myself from a short trip away from home and all of the many responsibilities that held me down.

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The Day I Almost Met George Michael: Memories from the Edge of Heaven

Once upon a time I almost George Michael. It still pains me to say it out loud, the "almost." I could have met him. I almost did. Ouch! It's been almost 40 years but I still talk about this. And up until recently I really had no record of the moment that never happened. But thanks to the new Wham! documentary on Netflix (have you seen it? It's fabulous), the memory has resurfaced in my brain; this time with physical evidence!

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How a Western Weekend Getaway Changed My Life

If you follow me on social media then you know I attended an amazing Western Weekend Getaway with Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom. I feel like I've come back a different person- a more relaxed, confident, stronger person. Maybe it sounds kinda corny, but I think I found myself again. Let me tell you what I mean. Where do I begin?

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Don't Call Me an Influencer

Sometimes people refer to bloggers as influencers. According to Merriam-Webster, an influencer is "a person who is able to generate interest in something (such as a consumer product) by posting about it on social media." And sure, maybe I do that. But not only on social media. I used to say, 'please don't call me an influencer,' because I felt there was more to me than that, more to what I do. There's nothing wrong with being an influencer, of course, it's just not exactly who I am. First and foremost, I am a writer. I've always been a writer, even when I was a teacher. I write for me, I write for you and sometimes I write for other businesses. Secondly, I'm a blogger. My blog is my pride and joy, and I fuss with it daily, the same way you'd fluff up the pillows on your living room couch or mess with your child's hair to get it just right. But it never goes as planned, does it? The dog comes in and crushes the pillows, or the wind blows and screws up your kid's hair, or a pandemic happens and just changes...everything.

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The 49 Before 50 List

I'm the first one to admit that I'm no fan of getting older. If you read my post, The Eyes Have It, then you know I've had my own struggles with physical aging over the years! But this post is more about celebrating how far we've come. You 70's and 80's kids out there, isn't it crazy to think that we're almost 50? Or for those who have reached this milestone already, can you even wrap your head around it? 50 years!! One thing I'm super excited to do before I turn 50 is to complete my 49 Before 50 List. I have two years, so I'm a bit ahead of myself - but it does take some planning. Follow me and I'll tell you all about it. (*And don't miss the update at the bottom of this post to see how the list is going and if it's worth making)

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The Jersey Momma Fall Pop-Up Event: Flashback to Fun

The very first Jersey Momma Pop-Up Event is officially down in the books, and a good time was had by all! If you've been following me on social media (which you ARE, right??), then you know I've been talking about this event and planning it for months (you can see the original invite and event page here). Here's the lowdown so you can see what the event was like (and make plans to be at the next one!!) 

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